Dealing with Aftermath
by just-need-hannily
Summary: This fic is written about 3x12 (however there are references to earlier episodes) and how it left Hanna and Emily with PTSD and bouts of depression/anxiety. I hope to capture the two liars' relationship and their interactions as well as interlacing each girl's serious sides. Hannily is endgame, per usual.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Sorry I haven't uploaded my one-shot chapters in a long time (OTP Challenge), I've been working on THIS much longer, much more difficult fanfic. Basically if you haven't seen 3x12, I would not suggest reading this until you do so, because it's a great episode for Hannily shippers. Okay, I hope you guys like it, and I promise to try and upload on a more frequent basis. P.s. I don't own anything PLL related._

While going through a traumatic event, one might not begin to experience or fully comprehend the intensity of their emotions. It might be something to do with the adrenaline coursing in order for the body to adapt to such an unusual situation, or perhaps it's because of a high amount of endorphins being released. Either way, for Emily, the comedown didn't occur until she could hear police sirens wailing in the distance. Up until that point, her mind had been solely focused on surviving. The aftermath scared her, because no longer was she solely fighting for her life, instead she found herself a murky mixture of feelings. For a while, they burst through her temples in sharp flashes. Guilt for shooting Nate, or Landon or whomever. Worry for Caleb, whose abdomen was spurting copious amounts of blood with every breath he took. Regret for ever dating Paige, because somehow it would always end up this way, battered and broken. At some point, Emily's feelings swirled together in an agonizing combination of negativity.

She pressed her entire body mass against Caleb's bleeding wound, wincing as he bellowed in pain. To be frank, Emily couldn't remember how long she'd been in that position, nor did it seem to be the most pressing matter at hand. Her peripheral vision caught a silhouette of Landon's eerily still body which was surrounded by a puddle of sticky red. If the intensity of her emotions had diminished, even for a second, they had now returned in waves stronger than she could fight off. Emily let out a howl as she felt a pair of hands pulling her off of Caleb. An animalistic instinct took over her senses, and she found herself banging her fists against the firm chest which was now embracing her while letting out ear splitting screams. A deep subconscious part of her knew it was the paramedics, and they were just trying to do their jobs, but she could not, for the life of her, stop her fighting.

Somehow the man had managed to drag her down the spiraling stairwell and into the back of an ambulance. She was restrained as a different man wearing a dark green vest examined her for any external or internal injuries. When she was deemed physically fit, he wrapped a shock blanket around her neck and handed her water before roughly leading her towards the police officers. Emily shot one last look at the new man, who seemed to be completely in his element as he pulled Caleb's stretcher into the ambulance and injected an IV into his arm. The police officer questioning her snapped her fingers impatiently, and Emily slowly turned around. She couldn't hear very well, because the only sound she could remember was that of a bullet whizzing from its chamber. This combined with the initial overwhelming amount of feelings caused her to completely ignore all of the inquiries. Emily quickly scanned the crowd, paranoia crawling up along her neck. Was she safe, even now?

The first few people she noticed were just spectators, average citizens looking for a new story to tell, a new rumor to whisper. Normally, she would have been enraged because of these people, however she pushed their petty need for excitement aside and stored it for a different time. Instead, she continued her search, stopping when she saw the three girls huddled together. Aria and Spencer locked eyes with her first, pleading with her to comfort Hanna. They appeared to be doing all they could, including rubbing her back soothingly and whispering reassuring statements, however she appeared every bit as shaken up. Almost as if Hanna had felt Emily's eyes on her, she looked up, unable to keep the cries from rocking her body. There was an indescribable amount of need shared between their gaze. Although the police officer was clearly attempting to regain Emily's attention, she was already gone.

Without hesitation, she tore away from everything bad that had happened to her that night. To her discomfort, she found herself limping, a phantom pain from an imaginary bullet. She tried to walk faster to reach those blue eyes were ones she couldn't deny. Before she could process what was happening, she found herself embracing Hanna, desperately wrapping her arms around every inch of the blonde. Hands were roaming through one another's hair, around each other's waists, fumbling to find security to latch onto. Emily nuzzled her head into Hanna's neck, only to have the motion mimicked. The girls hearts pounded, and breathing was labored, however neither had ever felt so utterly loved. Despite all of the terrible things they'd been through, this moment was unlike any other. As if the two were radiating everything happening inside of their heads, there was an understanding so thorough, a bond so deep it was undeniable. For several moments, they remained connected, sharing the most intimate emotional aspects either one had to offer. The flying thoughts in Emily's head had slowly evaporated, and Hanna's panic attack came to a close, an affect only shared by the pair. After what seemed to be an eternity, Emily found her voice and whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Please don't leave me right now. I can't go through this without you. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere, cross my heart."

Emily slowly unwrapped her arms from Hanna, and replaced the affection by placing a quick kiss on her forehead. Looking just past her, she saw Aria and Spencer and each gave her a curt nod. Hanna timidly slunk under the 'Do not cross' line, which had been smashed between her and Emily during their hug. For a split second, she smiled to herself, thinking of the jokes she could've made had the situation not been so somber and terrifying. The paler girl slowly laced her fingers around her friend's, the weight of the night seeming to crush her once again. Once more, they shared another pointed look. Mahogany eyes collided with cerulean, each bearing an amount of trepidation. Before heading back into the pits of hell, Hanna spoke.

"Alright. Let's do this Em."

Hand in hand, they wrapped up the first evening of an extremely long journey.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Chapter two will be released earlier than I intended, also, do you guys think I should go back and name chapters according to events, or keep them as they are right now? Also, I would love it if you guys had any feedback, suggestions, questions or any thoughts about what I'm writing. I will try to update as quickly as I can, however the writing process/time-span is a fluid concept for me. Okay, I hope you all enjoy!_

Hanna was not new to panic attacks. Even before A began blackmailing them, she had grown used to the chemicals coursing through her veins and making it near impossible to breathe. Ever since her dad walked out on her, she'd had reoccurring nightmares people would abandon her. Not to mention being stalked, threatened, and blackmailed by A, the intensity of said attacks happened on a much more frequent basis. She didn't tell anybody about her problem because she didn't want to be deemed weak, and more importantly, she couldn't admit it to herself.

Regardless, what she experienced the night of the shooting was nothing like any of her previous startles. Instead of the average shortness of breath and heart accelerations, she found herself unable to speak, and completely helpless. She watched on in horror as a man lugged a thrashing Emily down from the tower. Did the medic not hear the frantic shrieks coming from her Em? There was nothing more she wanted than to comfort her, but she herself couldn't move. Instead, she stared as the she emerged from the ambulance, the screaming stopped, but the amount of pain still visible in her eyes. Trying to grab her attention, she continued to watch Emily until she was shoved towards the police. She clearly wasn't going to look up any time soon, and the fear of Em becoming a shell of herself scared Hanna shitless.

The first night was easy because all of the girls were afraid together. Sleep came easily when they were all crammed on one bed, bodies pressed up against one another. But as night fell the second night, the blonde found herself with a bout of insomnia. She called Spencer and Aria at around four o'clock, only to receive their cheery voicemails. Normally Emily would have been her first pick, yet she couldn't bear herself to bother her. How was it fair she hadn't even been the one in the accident, however she was the one psyching herself out? Eventually she gave out and phoned her friend.

"Han, I'm so glad you called me."

"Really? It's a bit early, and I was worried you might be sleeping."

"That's the thing. I tried calling the other girls, but none of them picked up. I need a place to crash, I mean not by myself, you know?"

"Ugh I know exactly what you mean. Are you good to drive, or do you want me to pick you up and bring you over?"

There was silence on the line for a few seconds, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, just a tranquil quiet. Eventually Emily spoke again.

"I'd need you to take me, yeah. My mom would notice if I took the car, and she'd been bothering me non-stop yesterday. Just text me when you're here?"

"No problem. See you soon."

Hanna swung her feet off the side of her bed and grabbed her purse before slinking downstairs as soundlessly as she could. Slowly, she dismantled the alarm before walking outside and starting her vehicle. The drive over was uneventful. As every minute passed, she found herself becoming subconsciously less and less worked up. The sun was peeking up over the horizon, turning the previously dark sky a barely paler color.

She pulled up in front of her friend's driveway to see her sitting on the porch. Fresh tears spewed from Hanna's eyes all over again as she saw the exhausted look in Emily's eyes as she quietly slipped into shotgun. Seeing her swimmer, being able to reach out and physically touch her comforted Hanna extraordinarily. For moments they sat in silence, the gear still set in park, just taking in each other's presence. Eye contact was eventually broken when Em wrapped their fingers together. Each girl cleared her throat as Hanna began the drive home and the passenger stared out the window, a furious blush creeping across her cheeks. Though somehow, each had the courage to occasionally brush thumbs against the soft skin on the back of the hand, or gently squeeze them together in a sign of affection.

The ride home was filled with sniffing and small bouts of nervous laughter. When they arrived their destination, they snuck back into the house, tip-toeing just so that Mrs. Marin wouldn't be awoken. The two entered Hanna's room with caution, knowing whatever conversation was to follow would be emotional. For moments they lie in silence, trying to phrase the thoughts running through their minds. Hanna coughed up a quick sob before rolling to look Emily in the eyes.

"I worry about you so much."

"I know you do."

They studied each other carefully before Hanna mustered up the courage to speak again. It was moments before she found her voice, and when she did so successfully, the words came out so quietly and so broken it was hard to tell she was even speaking.

"You've gone through more than I can imagine. You start realizing who you are, and then you're sexually violated. You share with your parents you're gay, they flip out and judge you. Your first girlfriend was murdered by a letter of the goddamned alphabet. Your girlfriend's stalker hunts you down, tries to kill your current girlfriend, and tries to force you to be with him. Then you had to shoot him. You're the strongest of any of us."

By this time tears were flowing from both ends, bitter memories reopening infected wounds. Hanna held Emily's arm, trying to get the last part to come out of her mouth. She choked on the words as they escaped.

"We all know you're the strongest. You don't have anything to prove. So please Em, I'm begging you, let me protect you tonight."

"Hanna."

"Please?"

"You make it sound like I'm some saint, some hero. Well I'm not."

"You are to me."

"Not if you knew…"

The blonde cocked her head to the side, confused by how the events had just transpired. She looked at Emily and saw nothing but pure goodness.

"Nothing you say or do could change that."

"Really?"

Em snickered bitterly, shaking the mattress so violently Hanna couldn't tell if she was crying or laughing.

"Those things happen to me, to people I care about, and you know what I get scared about? I get scared for you. When I came out, I wondered what people would think about you if you kept hanging out with me. When A killed Maya, sure I grieved, but the whole time I wondered to myself how much time I had left with you. Once I realized Landon had tied up Paige, I thanked my lucky stars he hadn't figured out I care more about my friends, more about you than I do her. So don't say I'm a hero, because I'm a monster."

"You make it sound like caring about me is a bad thing."

"That's not what I mean Hanna, and you know it."

"Do you want to know why we fit better than anybody else in the group? We know what it's like to feel unaccepted, to feel like we have to hide pieces of ourselves from the world. And we know what it's like to be put down so much you begin to change yourself for other people. Don't apologize for being protective of me, because you're the only one in my life that is. Don't apologize for looking after me, because I do just the same for you. Don't feel guilty for how connected we are."

"I know caring for you so much doesn't make me less of a person, if anything it makes me better."

"Good. So trust me and let me protect you, just for tonight."

"Fine. On a side-note, you're way too good at convincing people to give you what you want."

"Oh hush, you know you love it. I see you've already got on your comfy, oversized pj's which brings me to the next question: which movie do you want to watch, Despicable Me, or The Notebook?"

"Well considering you've made me watch The Notebook a bazillion times, I'll go with Despicable Me."

After the movie was all cued up, Hanna returned to the room and plopped down next to Emily. She muttered something like, schooch over, and Emily obliged. Trying to decide upon a position comfortable for both of them, Emily ended up with her head on Hanna's lap. As Emily began drifting off, Hanna began twirling her hair in a rhythmic manner. After facing exhaustion, Emily slept confidently, knowing that her Hanna was always going to guard her as much as she could.


End file.
